Staying in a TOXIC Relationship is NOT your "Cross to Bear"!

Preview: 

"If you feel like you are in a narcissistic, toxic, abusive, manipulative, controlling, deceiptful, or coercive relationship that is not bringing God glory, your staying in that relationship is not bringing God glory either. A fruitful relationship is consistently honoring God, yourself, and others." 

Hear me explain in this podcast episode: I already have it cued up (at 2:56)... Just Press Play.

Loose Transcription:

Speaking of that, I had a new comment this morning I want to speak to really quick.

There was a woman that just basically said on one of my posts that she has not been able to get free from her situation, and she has decided that that's the cross that Jesus wants her to bear.

I want to speak against that.

As a believer in Jesus Christ, I believe in the finished work of the cross.

If you look at Hebrews, I think chapters 8, 9, and 10, and also in Galatians chapter 3... if you really read what Jesus did at the cross for us; He died and paid the price for our freedom! Go to Galatians 5:1 as well. Our freedom! Christ died in set us free!

We are to walk in that freedom, and we are not to be a slave to any man other than Jesus Christ.

He is our Lord and our Savior!

Relationship should be a beautiful picture of a loving relationship. When they're not, there is nothing in the Bible that is demanding or demanding that we have to stay in bondage or in slavery to any person who is hurting us in any way.

I'm making that bold statement very quickly, but I'm just saying it with such conviction I have never had before. But I have read enough, and lived enough now, to know that I can say that with full assurance that I'm not leading you astray from God's Word.

There is a time and a place to be faithful to people that you put in your life, absolutely. So we are to walk in the fruit of the Spirit, and He does not condone abuse as walking in the fruits of the Spirit!

So, dear sister,

If that is you, and you also feel like you are in a

narcissistic,

toxic,

abusive,

manipulative,

controlling, or

a relationship that is coercing you to do things that you do not feel fruitful doing, or you do not feel good afterwards...

that is not walking in the fruits of the Spirit in your relationship.

That is not bringing God glory.

And Your staying in that relationship is not necessarily bringing God glory either. (I believed that stupid lies for so many years.)

Whoever’s hearing this now, listen to me say this:

A safe and fruitful relationship is one that consistently and primarily is honoring God, yourself, and others. If that does not describe your current relationship, be set free in your mind, be set free in your body and in your spirit.

There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

Take a break.

Put someone on no contact.

Tell them that you need to do that for a time.

You can always come back later if you have to...I don't recommend it if it's a narcissistic situation.

As you get to know the narcissism world, you might start to understand that as I am as well, that there really is no space for us as humans with empathic hearts to give that grace to that narcissist over and over. That's the mistake I made multiple times.

I now realize there's just no space for grace from my life to that narcissist.

(I now believe the medical literature on this one as well as the experiences of so many women who, like me, have spent decades striving, trying, crying, praying, counseling, begging, .... you get the picture... and he still never changed in both words and actions consistently, etc. I've had to humbly realize and accept he is not the exception and neither am I. The patterns are clear.)

Of course, God's grace always for that person in a relationship with Him. But as far as I'm concerned, we get sucked in and we get hurt over and over and over again.

And no!

Staying is not our cross to bear.

Jesus! He bore the cross so we could be free!

So be free, walk free, and love free.

Rachelle ♥

Some Helpful References (mentioned above):

.Galatians 5:1 Be Free

.1 Cor 9:19 Slave to no man.

.Romans 8:1 No Condemnation

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